Did you know I’m hydrated right now? Imagine being dehydrated, your brain malfunctioning and getting all kinds of diseases. God forbid I ever miss my daily 3L mineral water intake. I’m gonna be honest my bladder gets filled all the time, but so what? I get boners from it. My penis is getting bigger and bigger. It’s a life hack. I fucking love drinking water so much it’s unreal.
I bought this bottle, $90 aluminum premium quality baby. App included. Keeps water cold all day long. Its light turns on when I need to hydrate. It tells me when I need to drink, it’s marvelous technology. Revolutionary. I‘ll never ever dehydrate again. It’s a superpower. I cannot live without it, best money I’ve ever spent honestly. I’m also paying $5/mo. to get cooler light colors, because I’m not poor like you. Imagine being poor. Even worse, imagine being dehydrated.
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